(424) 248-9114
Areas of Expertise
Personal Empowerment
Life sometimes happens like a train wreck, that we didn’t see coming. In those moments of shock, sadness, disbelief and anger it's natural to feel like a victim of your life's circumstances. We are often left as the collateral damage of someone close in our lives, who’s poor choices and behaviors have deeply impacted us and left us feeling upended as if the foundation has been pulled out from under us. How do you then move forward? How do you not only get back to your usual level of functioning but actually get to the place where you feel empowered? It can only happen by taking the 1st small steps forward and getting the needed support and help necessary for those 1st steps. We feel empowered when we stop giving our power away to those who don’t deserve it by holding on to rage, anger and resentment. Positive change can only happen when we take back our power through personal accountability of our own lives! The power of making present and conscious decisions through taking the first baby steps is life changing. Therapy doesn’t have to be a life long process if you lean into your strengths and learn to develop and use your personal power.
Empowering Women in Transition
As women we’re expected to do it all - and be happy! The truth is we can and actually do... do it all. The happy part is often difficult to get to! Why is that?! A large part of it is those internalized overt and covert messages we received in childhood. We are naturally nurturers and caretakers and grow up attuned to others. That said, the early messages we learned were not about taking care of our own needs. We all have learned that on a plane in an emergency we need to place the air mask on ourselves first, then apply it to our child. Metaphorically, this is a value women need to prioritize in their lives! Are you ready to make a change for yourself and don’t know where to get started? Whether you are wanting to get in a relationship, out of a relationship, going through a change in your family life or re-envisioning a job or career change; I’m here to help take you step by step through the process. It’s time for you to finally make room for yourself to find your happy!
Empowering Parents
Parents today are faced with enormous pressures around how to parent their children and teens. Just when you think you may have gotten one stage or issue down, along comes the next new set of problems! This not only places stress in the entire household but also causes friction between parents. The problems become exacerbated when each parent have different belief systems and parenting styles.
As parents of course we all want what's best for our kids! The real question is do we know how to get there? Especially when the sh*t hits we tend to fly by the seat of our pants, and fall back to what we innately learned from our own parents - we all know how well that usually works out!
The other issue is that what we believe is best for our children is actually NOT what is right for them; or parenting that may work for one child does not work for the other! As parents, having a front row seat in watching our kids go through mistakes, pain and even failure is gut-wrenching and at minimum aggravating; even more so, when we as parents see the solution so easily and yet if only our kids would listen! At that point parents tend to act out of fear and panic! What happens then? You know, you live it?! A lot of yelling, anger, resentment and communication shuts down! The cycle of disrespect, rebellion and the feelings of an out of control family life spiral and intensify!
Through over 25 years of experience working with parents and families I can help you open up lines of communication with your kids and give you hands on tools to create an immediate shift with your kids. The point is there is no such thing as one size fits all when it comes to parenting! I’ll help you tap into your parenting strengths and recognize areas for change. We’ll also discuss the specific strengths and needs for your child to help them flourish! Are you ready to take the first step? Lets work together to find more peace, balance and harmony within your family.
Parenting Through Betrayal and Sex Addiction
Families are greatly impacted by betrayal, infidelity and sex addiction. The relational rupture and trauma that takes place for parents also affects the children, leaving them with feelings of confusion, anger and pain – and this occurs for the family at different stages.
As parents struggle to orient themselves to a new reality in the face of betrayal, it’s overwhelming and painful for a parent to recognize the immediate and future impact on their children. Well-intentioned parents can make serious mistakes in managing the family. The inclination to erroneously believe that children don’t really know what’s going on is natural because it’s hard as a parent to accept that you may actually be the cause of emotional pain for your child. Even if a child is younger and does not know what is happening in your relationship, the mood and energy in the household can feel debilitating.
The reality is that children (from toddlers to teens) are emotional sponges; absorbing the tension and energy around them. They feel the strain and abrupt changes in the household and are not fully capable of understanding what’s occurring. This is exacerbated when they are told “Everything is fine.” Instead of feeling better they experience dissonance between what they are feeling and what is being told to them. In short “gaslighting” your child and teaching them to not trust their gut feelings!
The negative repercussions of Parental Discourse are often not addressed until the child or teen begins to show signs of serious problems. The reality is; whether or not a child show signs of immediate distress, the impact of sex addiction has ramifications for their future as it affects relationships and poor partner choices, sexuality, trust and overall sense of reality. Without the problem being appropriately acknowledged and addressed, children continue to be victimized by sex addiction by what they hear, intuitively feel and by what they experience.
Questions I can help answer include:
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Do you know how to talk to your kids about what is going on, based on their age, maturity, and exposure to the addiction?
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What messages is your child receiving from each of you, and are they consistent?
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What information is appropriate for our children to know, and how much is too much?
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What are the signs that a child is being adversely impacted by an addiction and recovery?
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What kind of negativity or disparaging information have child received regarding your spouse in a moment of anger or pain?
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My child doesn’t know, why would I open this can of worms?
I’ve created a short-term model to age appropriately address addiction, betrayal and divorce within families, including understanding and learning how to speak to children about the tension at home (without saying sex addiction or cheating). I also work with parents who have children of all ages to help them address issues of impending separation and divorce. Sessions are conducted individually and with both parents, when appropriate.
Empowering Teens
It's tough to be a teen! Period! Today's teens live a world that’s not only hard to understand but difficult to navigate through. More than any other time in history they have immense pressures. They have so many feelings and thoughts often times without the full tools to express them. What looks like rebellion, disrespect and anger are underlying misplaced feelings that go misunderstood and not communicated. What often happens is the behavior is addressed and the real issues and problems are not seen, identified or treated. Just as adults do, teens need to feel heard and recognized. If they don’t receive any positive recognition, they will look for attention through negative behaviors. Pushback, defiance and healthy rebellion within the confines of healthy boundaries; are part of the process toward teens becoming independent, accountable, and confident adults. In working with your teen I can help bridge the balance of independence, communication and personal accountability.
Tweens, Teens, Body Image & Sexuality
Here’s the truth: your kids have EASY ACCESS - they are always one step ahead of you! Kids today are inundated with provocative images, false messages and even porn & objectification fueled by technology. Girls directly and indirectly receive constant messages that let them know regardless of their looks or body type; it’s just not good enough! Even in this era of the “Me Too” movement, mainstream advertising perpetuates a culture of objectification by images that depict so called versions of what boys want!
More than ever before boys today also struggle with body image and eating disorders and deep sense of confusion about “what girls want” and what it is to be a man. As much as sex is talked about there is an increasing amount of shame around what should be normal, healthy sexual development. Research shows most tweens and teens between the eleven and sixteen have looked at porn intentionally on line. In addition, many teens get information about sex through porn.
Not surprisingly, parents are overwhelmed and concerned as they see their daughters dressed provocatively and taking explicit sexual selfies at a younger & younger age. Parents of boys are not only terrified that their sons will cross the line with girls but will be accused of inappropriate touching that will have lasting ramifications.
Most parents want to know how to parent and discuss and address issues around sex and body image appropriately in these confusing times of growth and change. Most teens feel that their parents just don’t get it! For the most part they are right! Feelings of protectiveness and fear take over for parents in those moments! Comments like, “You’re not going out dressed like that!” illicit more sneaking and lying behavior of your teen and perpetuate mistrust and family rupture.
In addition to facilitating lectures and workshops on sex and sexuality, I work with both teens and parents to appropriately communicate together. Through a series of steps I help parents to understand their limitations and discomfort in addressing body image & sexuality. I work with teens to learn and understand appropriate boundaries and develop positive body image and healthy self esteem.
Here are some questions I can help answer:
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Learn how to talk about sex, without talking about sex!
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Insight into your child/teen’s inner world.
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Understand the overt & covert ways your actions impact your child’s choices and behaviors.
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How to address the shame around sex talks- yours and your kids!
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How to move through the discomfort of uncomfortable conversations.
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Protect your child against assault and accusation.
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Specific techniques to help your child develop positive body image.
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Learn the tools to combat negative body image for boys and girls. (Fat is not a feeling!)
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Understand the pervasiveness of Porn as big business and how we are all affected.
